Feels like I have hit my rock bottom.

I have reached that point in life again where I am simply, tired. 

There is a part inside me which pushes me to keep going but there is another part that just constantly yells: 'Quit!' I am not sure if you have faced something similar. 

Exhaustion is a better adjective to describe my situation but it still doesn't seem enough. This officially is my rock bottom. The best part about being here is knowing the fact that it only goes up. 

But being at this low, breathing life here, existing here is the most difficult thing to do. I have a list of blogs to write and there is nothing pushing me to do that. I do realize that people are my source to the whole idea of 'Keep Going', I haven't talked to a lot of my regulars since almost three weeks, and although it feels like forever, this small period of detachment has redefined what it feels like to be living without a source of happiness and encouragement. 

I am really starting to question, 'Do my peers really have it all sorted?' or are they deep down introspecting every life decision just like me. This is a scary place, man. I cannot fail to mention that I often think, I need help, or I need friends or I don't know what I need.

Do I over-complicate life by thinking? Yes. Do I have any other way? No. You see, some of us, just think way too much and find no exits when we fall into that vacuum of thinking endlessly. 

I wish to skip such days of second thoughts and self-doubts. On such days, I think about how life seemed easy when I was a school going kid, with nothing to worry about, except the boys who bullied me in the bus, in the class and sometimes during assembly. 

I just sometimes think if there was ever a point in life, where I was truly happy, truly in love with myself, and so confident that nobody could touch my hair, but then I think about what that version of me would be like, someone not so friendly, not approachable and certainly unlikable. 

That is something I am not, and I never wish to be. I probably cannot afford to be that version of me, so 'Does it I mean I settle for being unhappy at every stage of life?' Maybe. 

Just like my life, this also has no conclusion, sometimes, somethings just stay incomplete, and I don't intend to transit sorrow through this, I just want you to know that if you feel that you're alone in thinking all these things, then you're not. 

There are probably millions out there going through the same, maybe even worse. 


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