How I will never cope with the concept of Death, and people leaving us to never come back


Photo: Pinterest

               I just finished watching the movie - One Day, starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess, playing Emma and Dexter in a life-like film that starts in 1988 and goes on till 2011. 

Emma and Dexter, meet after their graduation and decide to kick it off, although things don't go as planned, and the next thing you know they become more than what sex defines humans to be. 

This is not a movie review, for that you can waste your time somewhere else, and that makes it the very reason that I am not obliged to hide anything from you. Emma one fine morning rides her bicycle to go meet the love of her life who is waiting in a cafe, and gets run over by a truck on the streets of London, a place where I currently live, she never comes back from death and hence - all I can say is Emma and Dexter meet every year on the 15th of July except one. 

I don't know how Dexter made it without her his entire life, living off on those memories that I now feel are like stale food from last night or the night before. You see, I have never felt death or seen once, up close. So I spend hours and hours of my life thinking about - What I will do if my family leaves one day to never come back?

Or otherwise, What will my family do, if I go away one fine day, just like that? without mentioning anything? I mean who will get my clothes? My dairies will remain with whom? Who gets to keep my money? My pictures of course? What will happen to this blog? My social media platforms? Will they be kept just like that? Forever, on the internet? 

I get smacked by these questions and a million others, only to find no answers to any of those. I woke up today morning feeling so fortunate, to just have opened my eyes to see the cloudy, dull and death-like colours of the sky in London. Nonetheless, the feeling of gratefulness stayed till afternoon, to have sight, to be able to breathe, to be able to walk and feel things. 

I'll tell you my little secret.

I want to stay, even when I'm gone. Somewhere maybe, hiding in a park, behind the bushes? or maybe up in the sky watching over these friends I have left back in India, and my family of course. 

I also want to see what happens to those who I loved, loved a little more and those who I never stopped loving. It will be worth the watch, where everyone ends up. I promise, I won't get bored on your dull days. 

Photo: Pinterest 

I pray every day - not to some god, but to the thing that is making this universe work, to make my grandparents stay a little longer than they are destined to be. Oh, What the hell! I don't believe a penny in destiny. But if they could just stay a little longer, maybe till I can make them sit in a plane and fly with them to a country or city they have never seen. 

We all deserve to sit in a plane and see a land, that we have never seen before, c'mon. That is the whole point of human existence, we spend our entire lives living in the same place, sometimes - maybe even just once, you gotta step out and walk another land. 

Enough of that, you get my point, right? I hate the days that go slow, and nights that go way too fast, but now it feels like I need it all to go slower. 

Only if Emma could slow down a little bit, she would have had another year, or two. 

Or if that damn truck would have been faster than usual. 

Life would be different, and death wouldn't be that scary.  

11:45 pm 


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